There is no formulae of running an African country

I have just received a briefing from my head of security. I cannot believe what he tells me. Some university professors are planning to launch a party.

They make me laugh. The professors I employed. The ones I pay. Now think they can do better than me. Etse. What is it with people of this country?

Running a country is not like cramming law. There is no formulae to running an African country. I never went to school to run this country. I went to war. I am tested by war. Tried by war.

In any case, is that not what Americans ask for – a president who has been to Vietnam. Or Afghanistan. Or Iraq? What more commitment does a country want from a leader apart from dying and killing for the people?

I am told the professors are not happy. Jesus. What makes them unhappy now and not when they were teachers under the white regime? I mean they never were unhappy then. They taught. Made love to their women. Made kids. Now they are old and unhappy.

Fuck them. If they are unhappy it's not about me. Or my government. It must be their marriages and women and children. They should not try to vent out on me and my government.

Look, we were angry. Us who went to war against the seemingly invincible white regime. We gave up everything to free this country. And them lazy bones of professors. Yes, us who were angry freed them professors who now say they are unhappy.

This is idiocy of the tallest order. Where were they with their professorship when we were dying and killing for the country? Most of them were old enough to join the struggle.

Back then when we needed them at the front, none of them was unhappy. Back then when they were treated like children, none of them was unhappy. None thought of forming a party.

Now that we have died and killed for them, they are suddenly unhappy with the government. Africans are idiots. Who is the musician who said there is no good African. Even the one sleeping can still dream horror about you. Those that are dead can still haunt you.

So I ask my security chief what the professors want? Apparently, they want a better Constitution! Imagine that silly demand. A Better Constitution? Yet this is the same Constitution they were born under. They went to school under this Constitution. Married under this Constitution. Had children under the same Constitution.

Suddenly, the Constitution that saw them becoming professors is not good enough. Honestly, if this Constitution was not good enough for them, how did they become teachers? Fathers. Husbands. And now professors?

But my security chief says they are serious. Really now. Do they have guns? What will they do if they do not have guns?

I doubt they have brains too. If they had, they could not be messing up with a tried and tested cadre like me. They are playing with their fathers' manhoods.

But wait, could they have been behind the students riots? Could they be working with the finance minister? Is there a link with the stupid editor boy?

Could be. Maybe.